Thanks Santa!

What a wonderful Christmas we had, spoiled as usual.  For some odd reason Kinley did not get the memo that the anticipation of Christmas and Santa's arrival wakes you up early in the morning.  Instead, she chose to sleep until 8 which she rarely does.  Once she was awake and ran out to see her presents, she was sorely disappointed that Santa did not stick around to say good morning.  She was very confused and asked where Santa was numerous times.  Unfortunately the snow scared us off and we didn't make it to Utah to see family.  Luckily, we have been adopted by the Whites here and they let us hang out with them.  

Santa was kind enough to track down Kinley's last minute request of some snow pants.  He couldn't find any boots in her size but Mommy and Daddy came to the rescue to complete her "snow clothes" as Kinley calls them, and she is taking full advantage of all of this snow.  Her new Carter's light up boots are her most prized possession now.  Much to my dismay, she wants to wear them everywhere.  I'm having a hard time accepting that they match anything in her wardrobe, but Kinley assures me they look so pretty.  Kinley and I went to Target yesterday to find her some new dresses for church.  Everything I picked she told me was "yucky" and then she informed me that I have "bad taste". I, of course, informed her that she is just a bit mouthy for a 2 year old.

Thanks Santa!

Merry Christmas!

We want to wish all of our friends and family a very Merry Christmas!  We also wanted to thank everybody for the wonderful Christmas cards.  Big shock, but I was too lazy and uninspired to send out cards this year, I think next year I'll actually give it a try.  

At this house, we are definitely ready for Christmas to come.  Kinley and I found this super fun Christmas website, www.northpole.com.  We have had fun playing in Santa's village and checking Santa's progress with the Santa tracker.  Poor Kinley, she seems a bit confused by the holidays and keeps telling people Happy Halloween and sometimes she gets it right and says Merry Christmas.

While we have had fun with the lights, the trees, and talking of Santa, we are grateful for the time to reflect upon the birth and life of Jesus.  May you all have a a very merry and safe Christmas.

Love,

Rich, Marlyce, and Kinley   

Make it stop

Apparently we have done something to incur the wrath of Mother Nature, Old Man Winter, and Jack Frost.  It just keeps snowing and snowing and snowing.  On top of that, it's down right cold, luckily it's not Nebraska cold, but it's still plenty cold enough for me.  Poor Rich had to shovel the driveway 3 times yesterday due to the wind blowing all of the snow right against our garage leaving us a nice 2 foot drift.

Of course I'm totally lame and left a fair amount of Christmas stuff for the last minute.  Too bad the roads are horrible and I can't get anywhere to deliver or pick up what I need.  Luckily, no snow today, and the plows should be coming, so there is still hope.  If not, Santa, we need a tiny favor...I think you know the last things Kinley asked for. 

This is Rich in the backyard being so nice and posing so I can tell how deep the snow is.

Rich and his new best friend the snow shovel.  Don't you love the giant mountain of snow behind him?

Of course Kinley loves the snow.  She is such a freak, she never gets cold.  She mostly likes to eat the snow.  And notice how snowy her pants are....

Terrible picture, I know, but this is how Kinley gets around in the snow.  She just crawls and says stuff like, "I just love snow".  

Funny story

While teaching our adorable little Sunbeams at church on Sunday (the 3 and 4 year olds), I asked what they were doing for Christmas.  We have one little boy that likes to talk and says all sorts of funny things that I'm sure his parents would rather he kept to himself.  This is what he had to say.

"First we will go to Grandma Judy's.  She doesn't give very good presents.  Then we go to D.I. to drop the presents off."  For those of you unfamiliar with D.I. (Deseret Industries), it's just like Goodwill.

Hopefully Grandma Judy doesn't stumbled onto this.

Silly thoughts

Here are a few silly thoughts from Kinley to help brighten your day.

After being naughty and earning a timeout in her room, I hear Kinley yelling that she wants to be nice.  We then have the following exchange:

Me:  Kinley, do you know why you are in trouble?

Kinley:  Um, I ruined Christmas?

Me: No, you did not ruin Christmas, not yet anyways.  You were screaming.

Kinley:  That's right, I screamed, like this.  (then repeats the awful screaming that got her in trouble in the first place)

After picking Kinley up from Nursery, I asked her what she did in Nursery.  She says, "I screamed.  I cried.  I pushed."  I ask for some more details and she responds with, "I pushed Jace.  He fell down.  He cried.  I sat in the chair."  Nice, my kid is the bully in nursery.

After staring out the back door at the snow, Kinley announces she is going outside to play in the snow.  I say, "Kinley, you can't go outside, you only have socks on."  Kinley takes off her socks and declares, "now I'm ready."  Apparently she didn't get the memo that mommy hates snow.

For family night we made this stellar gingerbread house.  While decorating the house, Kinley had the following things to say.  "I eat all the candy.  This is so fun.  Echo give me this house.  I love this house.  My house is so pretty."  I have to say, considering who decorated the house, it's not too shabby.  Rich and I weren't really blessed with any crafty or decorating talent, but we enjoyed ourselves.

If you are wondering, I have no idea why Kinley can't open her eyes when she smiles, or why she looks like she is in pain.  I promise she is having fun.

The Real Santa...finally!

Due to some illness at our house, our trip to see Santa was postponed until today.  After finishing up at the Primary activity, we headed to the mall to see Santa.  We were pleased to see a fairly decent Santa helper working the booth this year.  His postives were that he had a decent beard and white hair and he did not wreak of alcohol or body odor, which made him a million times better than last year's Santa.  His negatives, well, he was just kind of "dullsville", not a lot of holiday cheer or jolliness to him.

Kinley was super excited to see the "Big Man" and waved her hello's while waiting in line.  I am just stunned at the cost of a picture with Santa.  The cheapest package was $12.99.  Whatever happened to the old days where you just got a polaroid picture?  We went the cheap route and took our own photos, lame I'm sure, but at least I still have my $12.99 in my pocket and the creepy picture lady didn't shake her bells in our faces.  Once Kinley walked up to Santa she got a bit nervous and needed her mommy to sit with her.  I, of course, was ill prepared to have my picture taken, but sat down anyway.  Santa could have earned some bonus points by scooting over or possibly by being friendly, but he chose to just stay put and keep personal contact to a minimum.  Here is the exchange between Santa and Kinley.

Santa:  Have you been nice this year?

Kinley:  No, I'm mean.

Santa:  Well what would you like me to bring you?

Kinley:  I want a baby doll.

Santa:  Is there anything else you want?

Kinley:  I want to slide Santa.

Santa: (looking straight forward and not saying anything)

Kinley:  Ok, bye bye Santa.  Ho ho Merry Christmas

Santa:  Here's your book

And that sums that up.  I guess it was kind of a let down.  You wait all that time and hype Santa up, and it's over in 30 seconds.  I think I'll make a suggestion that during the Santa screening process, they take a second to check for actual holiday spirit...seems like a key factor in being the big man.

Soft Scrub

To the makers of Soft Scrub...

Let me start by saying that I truly enjoy your product, it's really one of my favorites.  I must ask the question, if your product is so good, why have you made it so very difficult for me to get to it? Do you realize that the squeeze bottle you have your product in has just won the award for "World's Worst Squeeze Bottle"?  I mean, honestly, I wanted to do some cleaning, not combine a serious cardio workout with weight training, all while trying to clean my stove top and sink.  After applying my body weight to the bottle and squeezing with all of my might, imagine my surprise when I only managed to get a tiny little stream of liquid to come out of the bottle, not even the size of a penny.  So, I took a deep breath and repeated the whole fiasco only to have an explosion of Soft Scrub come flying out of the bottle.

I now have a sparkling kitchen sink, kitchen countertops, stove top, and then had to search for things that needed to be cleaned so that I didn't waste the rest of my mound of Soft Scrub.  I'm not sure if I should thank you for making such an effective product, or rip your stinking head off for the trouble you have caused me today.

Sincerely,

One confused customer with a really clean kitchen

Dear Santa...

Hi Santa, it's Kinley again.  I know, I know, I better get my act together if I want to make it on the nice list.  My mommy said that we could come see you today.  I am hoping that you took my suggestions from last year to heart, and that when we make it to the mall I will find a decent looking Santa there.  I couldn't help but notice that you snubbed me in the store the other day.  I was the cute little girl in the shopping cart waving like a maniac and yelling "hi Santa".  You were the man with the really long white beard, white hair, suspenders, and using a giant candy cane to walk with.  Oh, if that wasn't you I'm going to be soooo embarrassed.  I did notice some bad body odor when we walked by you, so if it was you, you might want to consider sprucing up your personal hygiene for the holiday season.

So, when we get there tonight, I most likely will change my mind and become a little chicken and not want to go anywhere near you.  If that does happen, I have been telling my mommy for about a week that I would like a little turtle.  Mommy always makes a funny face when I say that and then makes a comment that turtles are yucky, so I'm guessing she doesn't want me to have one.  I'm sure the elves will make something for me that I'll really love.

Just remember Santa, I'm not naughty, I'm just stuck in my terrible two's.

Love,

Kinley

Black Friday

All I can say is, wow!  What a crazy experience it is to get up and hit the early morning sale.  Luckily my parents live in rural Utah so our only option was to hit Walmart.  As seems to be the norm when my family gets together, we were talking and laughing and let time get away from us.  Around 12:30 it was decided that if we went to bed we would never get back up in time to hit the early sale, so we just decided to pull an all nighter.  So crazy, I know.  The upside to this was that the longer we stayed up, the more people that decided to come with.  The early morning gang ended up being all of my sisters, Shawna, Richelle and Nicole, and we even drug along my nephew Keenan and niece Katie.

Around 3:30 a.m. we realized it was silly to just sit up and talk in the living room when we could just get in the car and be at the front of the line.  Imagine our surprise when we show up before 4:00 a.m. and the line is already filling the majority of the parking lot.  So we get out of the car and stand in the freezing cold for an hour waiting to get into the store.  Now my sisters and I are pretty funny, at least we think we are, but at 4 in the morning with no sleep, we're just down right hilarious.  I had an absolute blast and I haven't laughed that hard in a long time.  Here are my top 10 favorite moments of our first ever early morning sale shopping.

1.  Keenan offering to "chest bump" everybody out of my way

2.  Asking Shawna what was on her shopping list and hearing her reply with "just egg nog"

3.  The look on the ladies' face in front of us after Shawna said "egg nog"

4.  The look of sheer terror on the worker's face as they passed out the carts to the charging mob of people

5.  Being pushed and shoved until I finally cracked and just started grabbing stuff because I couldn't get to the stuff I actually wanted.

6.  Watching people try and drag their giant TV's around the store

7.  Placing an item in my cart and accidentally knocking Nicole's Power Ranger helmet on the floor and having to physically wrestle it out of some ladies' hands as she tried to steal it from me...dang lady cut my finger open

8.  After Nicole's unsuccessful attempts at a Nintendo DS and Batmobile, watching her excitement when Keenan and Katie found them sitting on the floor in front of the milk.

9.  Having a mini high school reunion while running around the store like a mad woman

10.  Watching some crazy lady stuff her arms full of $5 Hot Wheels while shouting at people to get away.  Honestly, is that even a good price for those???

To my fellow Walmart shoppers, good effort this year, but watch out, we're coming back next year, and we'll be better prepared!  

Happy Thanksgiving

I think that this is the most excited I have been for Thanksgiving in a long time.  I did really enjoy our Thanksgivings while in Nebraska.  The Cleverly's put on one killer Thanksgiving dinner which we will always miss.  However, now that we are able to live closer to family, it is really nice to be able to enjoy Thanksgiving with them again.

This year, we will have almost my entire family together, which is tricky with a family of 7 kids, their spouses, and 15 grandchildren.  We will be missing my brother and his family, but will have the other 6 kids present.  It has been so long since we have all been together like this, probably a couple of years.  Even though we do live much closer to family, I still don't get to see my Wyoming siblings very often, so I suppose that is why I am so excited for this Thanksgiving.  We will even be lucky enough to have my grandparents join us, which is always a special treat.

I have also vowed this year to make it to the early morning sale at the local Walmart.  Last year I went fairly early and managed to get some great deals, but was too late for the big items I really wanted.  So, this year, I'm going early, and dragging somebody along with me, I just need to find some poor sap that is willing.  I'm sure I'll just be frazzled and a total mess since I'm not a huge fan of people, but I'm still going.

So, to all of you out there, I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!  Wish me luck on my early morning shopping endeavor, I'm sure I'm going to need it.  

Watch this...

Kinley is really into entertaining me with her random and not very interesting tricks.  She'll say, "watch this" and then do something fairly lame.  Lately, it has been stick her finger in her nose, remove it quickly, then promptly stick it in her mouth.  I tell her every single time it is so gross to pick your nose.  Luckily, I have yet to see her make a successful pick.  This leads us to yesterday's playing of "watch this".

Kinley:  Mommy, watch this

Me:  If you're just going to pick your nose and eat it, I don't want to see that.

Kinley: makes her sad face

Me:  Do you still have something to show mommy?

Kinley:  No way, I gross

Quirky tag

To be perfectly honest, I've been dodging/neglecting this tag for awhile.  My goal is to come off "quirky" and not "cuckoo".  Thanks to Emily for the tag, though I'm pretty sure she knows more of my "quirks" than anybody really should.  So, here goes.

1.  I am a routine/schedule person.  I do things in the exact same order, well, things that are possible to do in the same order all the time, such as showering.  In the event that I forget or skip a step during a routine, I have to go back to where I deviated, and then start again.  

2.  Every time I open my pantry or cupboard, I do a quick check to make sure that the labels are facing outward and that things are still lined up in their designated rows.  I am obsessed with making sure my house is organized as efficiently as it possibly can be.  I have rearranged my kitchen numerous times since moving into our home in August.  I think I have things worked out pretty well.

3.  I clean my entire house in one day.  I either clean the whole thing on Saturday or Monday morning.  I just really enjoying having the entire house clean at the same time.  On rare occasions, due to other activities, the cleaning has to be split up into 2 days, but I don't feel right about it until it's all cleaned in one day again.

4.  I only chew green Extra gum.  I think I can trace this back to high school athletics and my insanely superstitious ways.  We always lost when I chewed something other than green Extra, typically it was Big Red that was to blame (school colors were red and white and several pre-game thoughts and hand outs came with Big Red).  A few years ago I decided to "experiment" with some other brands of chewing gum, bad news, so I'm back to green Extra.

5.  I love to clean and enjoy the finished product even more.  I could spend 30 minutes in the cleaning products aisle at the grocery store.  I just love to find new products.  I find cleaning to be very relaxing, some people exercise to relieve stress, I just happen to clean.

6.  Under no circumstances is it acceptable for food to touch on my plate.  I will do everything I can to keep things separate and won't eat the parts that do touch.  There are some exceptions to this, like food that is supposed to mix, potatoes and gravy, maybe some gravy gets on my roll, etc.  I also eat all of one thing before moving on to the next.  I have worked really hard on this, trying to mix it up, and have made some improvement, but still prefer my old way. 

Well, hopefully you'll all still be friends now that you know I'm just a tad bit "quirky".  So, now I would like to actually tag some people.  I would like to tag Carrie H., Trista, Joni, Janae, Evige, and Cyndi.  

Play date...Kinley style

To say that Kinley has a great imagination would certainly be an understatement.  I just don't know where she comes up with this stuff.  She spent the morning playing with her best friends, Care Bear, Bear, and Raffey (pronounced Rah-rahs if you are Kinley).  I heard the following things while they were playing.

"Care Bear!  You hit Raffey?  We not hit!  Care Bear, sit here, fold your arms.  Care Bear, no pop!"  The reference to pop comes from last night when Kinley made some bad choices and lost the special privilege of having some root beer with her dinner. 

"Care Bear!  I not have time for this!"  I of course responded with, "Hey Care Bear, this is when you flop around on the floor like a fish out of water making it completely impossible to get your shoes and jacket on."  Kinley didn't think it was funny, but I sure did.

My personal favorite was, "Mommy, Raffey big pooped.  Change his diaper."

After watching them play for awhile, I told Kinley that I wanted her to be my baby again because she was acting too old.  Huge mistake.  This led to Kinley and her friends pretending to be babies, which meant me "swaddling" them like a 100 times then rocking them to sleep.  They did have time to stop for a group photo before taking a pretend nap and having a picnic in the kitchen.  I am hoping that some day in the very near future Kinley will find some friends that are a little less needy.

Tag, I'm it

I have been tagged a few times and have been putting off doing them, but here goes the first one.

8 is Great

8 tv shows I watch:

1.  The Office (Schrute bucks for everybody)

2.  Grey's Anatomy

3.  House

4.  Scrubs

5.  CNN (pretty much any show)

6.  Oprah 

7.  The Gilmore Girls (I'm not sure I actually like this show, but I can't quit watching it because I must know how the show ends)

8.  Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (again, not my pick)

8 Things I did yesterday:

1.  Woke up late and got ready super fast and chucked Kinley in the bath tub (not literally)

2.  Rushed Kinley to the dentist

3.  Tried to convince Kinley that the dentist is actually cool and fun while she insisted she did not want a turn

4.  Visited Rich at work and let Kinley mooch a gum ball off of Rich's secretary

5.  Finished my laundry

6.  Played "waterfall" with Kinley (don't ask, it's too lame to share)

7.  Finger painted with Kinley

8.  Solved world hunger but will tell no one

8 things I'm looking forward to:

1.  Thanksgiving

2. Christmas

3.  The day Kinley is potty trained

4.  Paying off our student loan

5.  Finishing my degree (assuming I can finally pick a major)

6.  The demise of the BCS

7.  Kinley to quit being scared of everything

8.  Warmer weather

8 things on my wish list:

1.  A trip to Disneyland

2.  New couches

3.  My pre-baby waist line

4.  New bedroom set

5.  Year round spring like weather

6.  To be Oprah's friend

7.  A live-in chef

8.  Fat free, calorie free, nutritious, yet still delicious chocolate.

I've lost track of what friends have done this tag, so if you feel so inclined, I tag you.

The results are in

I would like to thank all who participated in the recent "hair do" election as well as my pity party.  By the way, the pity party was a huge success, but with candy corn and Diet Coke for guests, how could it not have been a huge hit?  Not to mention, I pitied myself right into a one hour nap, apparently I do not know how to pity party like a rock star.

So, with the results of the election in, I find myself sorely disappointed.  Well, me and "chop it off" are just heart broken.  I am wondering if maybe I didn't allow for enough campaigning and enough stump speeches.  Should "chop it off" have been allowed to campaign, she would have shared stories about the hair do that is done in 5 minutes, the savings on hair products, and basically the simplicity that super short hairstyle offers.  Also, "chop it off" would have liked the public to know that this particular style would have been similar to my very shortest of hairstyles.  But, alas, I did not give her the chance and she was easily beaten.

Apparently the winning consensus is for me to keep growing with a slight preference going to the curly hair do.  I did receive comments about it being my hair and do what I wish, which of course, I usually do.  I originally began growing my hair out because Rich thought that I should, some crap about having the same hairstyle for like 7 years, and he was right.  I think I might actually be done growing for a bit and just enjoy what I have achieved thus far.  With that being said, if anybody would like to change their vote to "chop it off", I am certain I could be easily persuaded.

Pity...party of 1

Today I will be hosting a Pity Party for myself.  The party does not have set hours because I'm just not sure exactly long I will be feeling sorry for myself.  The theme of the party is "Episcleritis", which is the world's most annoying eye problem.  Basically, they don't know exactly what causes the stupid eye problem (symptoms include seriously disgusting red eye and a feeling of having vinegar rather than tears in your eye) but they do know that contact lens wear aggravates the condition.  I have been struggling with this stupid thing for 2 months, which means 2 months of no contacts for me.    

I hate wearing my glasses.  I hate that I can barely see myself in the mirror while I get ready.  I hate having to push them up all the time.  I hate that Kinley is constantly touching them and leaving tiny little fingerprints on them.  I hate that if it is raining or snowing I am constantly having to dry my glasses.  I hate that when I look up or to the side everything is still blurry.

So, why the pity party after 2 months of this.  Well, I just received word from the eye doctor that I just might not be a "contact wearing person anymore".  What?  No more contacts?  Hmm, that just really isn't going to work out for me.  So, how about this?  I do one more round of steroid eye drops and try and put those bad boys in again.

Well, it looks like it is time for the party to start.  I guess I'll go drown my sorrows in a nice cold Diet Coke and a bowl of candy corn. 

Trick or Treat and Vote for Me

We have been on the go and very busy for the last few days.  We left on Friday to go to Moroni and stopped to trick or treat a few places along the way.  Kinley, being a total scaredy cat, wasn't so excited about the whole Halloween concept, but she sure loved her lion costume (Simba actually).  We of course had to go to the Johansen's house, because honestly, it just wouldn't be Halloween without them.  Kinley did surprisingly well there, but did comment that it was scary, and she did not like the smoke machine, or getting her picture taken.

Saturday was spent playing with Papa Reed's new horse and puppy, throwing leaves, and of course playing with Cousin Wyatt.  Kinley was brave enough to pet the horse and even sit on him, but later mentioned she was scared of the clouds.  What a weird kid.  Sunday we went to the blessing of our newest niece and spent the day with Rich's family.  As usual, I forgot my camera and have no pictures, but baby AJ is very cute.

Then, on to voting day.  I had been talking all day yesterday about going to vote today.  I mentioned it again before I got in the shower today.  Then, for the rest of the morning, Kinley kept saying, let's go vote.  When we walked into the local elementary school to vote, the line was huge.  As my luck usually goes, we stood next to Yacky McYackerson, who is an 81 year old man who has voted numerous times and told us all about each time.  He was also kind of enough to suggest to Kinley that she should run around.  May I just say a very sarcastic "thank you" to Mr. Yacky McYackerson (not his real name of course).

Kinley was rather good while we waited.  She ate her snacks and colored some lovely little pictures.  She kept saying, let's vote now.  Finally, it was our turn.  Kinley stood by me and was trying really hard to get her, "proud to vote" sticker on my rear end.  Once I was done with my ballot, I walked over and handed it to the lady.  She then announced my name and that I had voted.  Kinley, with a look of sheer terror, says, "I not vote!".  Oh dear, what to do.  Without any prompting, she picks up one of her pictures, slams it on the table, and says, "dis my vote".  The lady starts laughing and asks, "well, who did you vote for?".  Kinley thinks for a minute and says, "Papa Reed, no, no, Kinley".  I told the lady that she apparently voted for herself.  The lady dinged the bell and said, "Kinley has now voted".  Kinley said, "woo hoo".  Then as we walked out to the car, Kinley told everybody in line, "Vote for me".  Somebody mentioned she did have an honest face, so I guess maybe she's got a future in politics.

Kinley's ballot

Pumpkins, pumpkins, pumpkins

Long story short;  We went to the pumpkin patch, they didn't have very many good pumpkins left so we just went to the grocery store.  Kinley had a lot of fun at the pumpkin patch and was not such a whiney baby about carving the pumpkins like last year.

Here is a list of things Kinley had to say about her pumpkins (a.k.a. pump pumps) and her trip to the pumpkin patch:

I wuv pump pumps.

Dis one too small.

I not wike corn.

In response to my suggestion of walking through the hay maze, "I not wike hay".

While carving the pumpkins, "oh, pump pumps guts pretty" and "I not touch pump pump guts".

After Rich put the candles in the finished products, "I scared of that.  Pump pumps go outside".

And here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

I swear she isn't stoned.

This is Kinley's new smile.  Pretty isn't it?

Now, unrelated to pumpkins.  I am posting a little poll on my blog.  The question is, how does the world prefer my hair?  Basically, who thinks I should get to end my 2 year struggle with growing my hair out.  I mean, really, I think I succeeded.  It's longer than it has been since I was like 16 years old.  So, here's the question, should Marlyce wear her hair straight, curly, or get to chop it off short again?  Feel free to leave a comment, or maybe I'll put forth the effort to make an actual poll on the side.

Things I don't understand

Unfortunately for me, I am one of those people that analyzes everything and has a very strong need to figure things out.  So, when issues or situations arise that I just can't seem to understand, they weigh heavily on my mind and further increase my level of insanity, and honestly, I can't really afford for that level to get much higher.  In an effort to find some plausible solutions, I will post my questions/ventings here and feel free to offer your suggestions.

1.  Exactly how old is Mickey Mouse and his little Clubhouse friends?  I mean, clearly they are old enough to be living on their own and they drive.  However, if they are that old, why are they doing a show for pre-schoolers?  Seems creepy.

2.  Do Diego and Dora's parents know that they are off galavanting around the world saving animals in peril and having other such adventures?  I mean, I don't really even like Kinley to play in the basement by herself for too long, mostly because I know she is making a ginormous mess rather than helping an injured animal.  I am just waiting for the day when Kinley tries to jump in a space ship to go rescue some tiny little aliens and I have to say, "um, Kinley, you are too young to be going into outer space all by yourself."  And then she'll be like, "uh, mom, Dora does it all the time.  Get a grip."  What do I say to that???

3.  Why oh why do I continue to see hand gestures at the 4-way stop sign as a means of determining whose turn it is?  I mean, honestly, YIELD TO THE PERSON ON THE RIGHT!  It's not rocket science.  And roundabouts...don't even get me started.

4.  When a door is clearly labeled "enter" and the other door clearly labeled "exit", why are we still confused as to which door to use?  I know it's not really a big deal, but I'm a rule follower and I like organization and order.  I think this world already has enough chaos.

5.  I have seen numerous commercials or ads, if you will, of high fructose corn syrup defending itself.  First, I would like to know who exactly launched the attack against high fructose corn syrup, I mean geez high fructose corn syrup, a bit touchy are we?  Second, I would like to know if high fructose corn syrup thinks that its ads are winning people back, assuming they ever quit consuming the product.  I think comparing yourself to sugar, which we all know isn't so great for us, may not be your best move.  You should maybe discuss with your campaign adviser comparing yourself to something nutritional like vegetables or fruit.

Okay, thanks for listening, I'm done for today.

Funnies from a 2 year old

Now that Kinley is talking so much, it seems like pretty much everything out of her mouth is just hilarious.  Since this acts as my journal/scrapbook, it seems the appropriate place to write down a few of her latest.

After sprinting down the hall to find me in the kitchen, Kinley announces, "I not touch my poops".  I responded with, "have you been touching your poops up until now?  Because we might need to do some serious sanitizing today."

While we were getting ready to leave for Rich's hair cut, I asked Kinley if she wanted a hair cut.  She responded with, "no, not cut Kinley.  Kinley want candy corn."  Hmm, interesting, but I fail to see the connection between the two, and yes, she consistently refers to herself in the third person and has the same candy corn addiction that her mother has.

When discussing lunch options today, I asked if she wanted chicken nuggets and some peaches.  Kinley said, "I think," then placed her finger to her chin for a minute and added, "I do."

Currently, Kinley also enjoys faking the hiccups, scaring people, picnic lunches with her "friends", mooching gum balls from Rich's secretary, and has spent most of the morning trying to get her bear to say "cheese" for a picture.  I'm concerned we are raising a class clown, unintentionally of course.  

My little chicken

Some how my little fearless wonder has turned into the biggest chicken ever.  It all started about 3 weeks ago while we were in Sun Valley for the Idaho Association of the Defense Council conference (yes, one of Rich's boring functions).  My parents were nice enough to come along so that they could babysit while we went to dinners and other activities.  We all had the chance to go this wonderful little restaurant for lunch.  While eating, sweet little Grandma pointed out the absolutely gigantic bull that was mounted on the wall.  Well, Kinley ended up having, basically, a massive panic attack.  She is still talking about the daddy cow.

I was hoping it was just a short phase and decided to take Kinley to Green River to see family and go to the Homecoming game.  My nephew Keenan is a big time football star now and my niece Katie is a super cute cheerleader.  As we were walking into the football stadium, Kinley kept saying, "oh, wow mama".  However, once we were inside the stadium, her expression quickly changed to one of sheer terror.  Naturally we ended up sitting right by the band, which according to Kinley, plays "too loud".  Kinley was absolutely scared to death.  She had the worst death grip on me.  She kept saying, "I not like feetball".  It sure didn't help that Green River (my nephew's team) scored like 7 touchdowns in the first half, which of course meant the band was playing the fight song over and over.  And as a special treat, they were doing fireworks after the touchdowns.  Needless to say, Kinley is not a fan of fireworks.  She let me know, "I scared of pop pops". 

Luckily, Aunt Shawna came to help save the day.  All we needed was a bag of skittles, one beanie to cover her ears and eyes as needed, one super cute cousin Kolter, and one high school kid dressed up in a mascot costume, appropriately named by Kinley "Charlie Chukar the Wolf". I am proud to say that Green River won by a lot.  Keenan played an outstanding game, and Katie was by far the cutest cheerleader on the field.  The next day when we walked into the gym for the volleyball games (2 other nieces play for the middle school), Kinley, with terror in her eyes, announced "I not like feetball".  To which I said, good, because we're at a volleyball game. 

So long Charlie

This is a picture of Kinley with two of her best friends, her daddy, and Charlie.  Charlie is the mascot of the local double A baseball team here.  Kinley absolutely loves Charlie, she calls him "Charlie Chukar".  She spends the entire game yelling things like, "hi Charlie", "hey Charlie", "love you Charlie".  However, when she finally got the chance to meet Charlie, she was scared to death, as you can see in the picture.  She is actually saying "cheese", but she is more than hesitant to stand by Charlie.

Unfortunately, we had a similar experience with Mazy, our little dog.  Kinley really liked her at first and yelled at her to play all day long.  However, when Mazy would get close to, run near, or heaven forbid, touch Kinley, she would freak out.  One day Kinley was bugging Mazy and Mazy ran at Kinley and knocked her down, then later sort of bit at her fingers.  From that moment on, it was "I not like Mazy".  So, unfortunately, Mazy has had to find yet another home.  She is living with my cousin now, and I trust she is finding things to her liking.

So, with the end of baseball near, and the end of our time as pet owners, we say, so long Charlie...and Mazy too.

Kinley, Inc.

I began my employment with Kinley, Inc. nearly 3 years ago.  I began with a very nauseating, sickening, painful, 38 week internship before being promoted to the position of "mama".  I have been in my current position for 26 months now.  This current position certainly has its ups and downs, but overall, I really do love my job.  I must confess that I have the most demanding boss that I have ever had in my life, she is cute though, and one heck of a dancer.    

I don't mind that I work 24 hours a day with no breaks, or that I am always on-call.  I don't mind that I don't always get a full nights sleep, or that I clean up 50 messes a day.  I am even getting used to the tantrums, the time outs, the disciplining, however, the cuddling, snuggling, hugs, kisses, and even "I love you's" certainly make up for the downs.  What I cannot tolerate are days when my boss choses not to take a nap.  As if she wasn't enough of a handful before, now kick the "whinies" into high gear and juggle all the rest as well, it's a challenging day.

Today, my boss decided to forego nap time and that it was funny to call me "stinky" all day and she even added in a "cock-a-poo-poo" for good measure. I'm not sure what "cock-a-poo-poo" means, but it doesn't sound good.  Now, I can take all of the messes, whining, screaming, and disobedience.  What I cannot take are attacks on my personal hygiene, especially when she knows I took a shower today because she laid on the bathroom floor the entire time.  Not to mention, when repeatedly asked to quit calling mama stinky, she just laughed.  I find this to have led to a hostile and negative work environment.  Therefore, she leaves me no choice, I quit.

What's that?  You can't quit the position of "mama"?  Well, there's some fine print for you.  That's just fantastic.  In that case, I'm demanding a 15 minute break. 

***Note***
The author and her boss have since reconciled and have settled on taking the afternoon off for a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse marathon.

My little cheerleader

From the day Kinley was born, I have been grooming her to appreciate college football.  Mostly, I have been teaching her of the greatness of the BYU Cougars and the Nebraska Cornhuskers, and of course to despise USC.  I have had to be rather sneaky about teaching her to be a Cougar fan, what with her dad being a Ute fan and all.  So, every chance I would get, we would sing the Cougar fight song.  Finally, during the BYU vs. UCLA game, since BYU scored like a hundred touchdowns, she finally let out a "rah rah, rah rah rah, GOOOO COUGARS".  Oh, persistence sure pays off.

So, with one huge victory under my belt, it was time to push harder on the Husker cheers. Yesterday Kinley and I put on our red Husker shirts and prepared for the game.  As the game started, I told Kinley to say what I said, "Go Big Red!"  Kinley said, "Go Big Red, Yellow, Purple".  Ugh, sigh.  Maybe next week. 

Shower incident #2

What is it about kids and their ability to know the worst times to bother you.  Before showering yesterday, I put on Mickey Mouse Clubhouse for Kinley, like I always do.  I was about half way done with my shower when the door flies open and Kinley comes flying in hysterical.  She pulls the shower curtain back and yells, "mama, get out!"  She even added a finger pointing the direction I was to get out in.  I asked, "What's the matter Kinley?  Mommy is right in the middle of her shower".  Still hysterical, she yells, "get out NOW!".  I was getting a little worried, so I jumped out of the shower, grabbed my towel, and headed to see what the problem was.  Not to worry, she had accidentally turned the channel and was having to watch ESPN.  Rich will be devastated to know that Kinley doesn't like watching Sports Center over and over either.

New Addition

After much discussion and much searching, we have finally added to our little family. Meet our new little baby, Mazy.Mazy was found by my grandparents in Utah.  She was hanging around the retirement community they live in and appeared to have no owners.  So, they rescued her and sent her up to us.  We really have no idea what kind of dog she is or how old she is, but she is turning out to be a very good dog.  She is completely house trained and never barks...pretty good for a stray dog.

Kinley, being absolutely obsessed with animals, absolutely loves her (unless Mazy is sitting on mommy's lap, then she's not a fan).  Kinley spent all day yesterday talking and barking commands at Mazy.  "Mazy, play doll house", "Mazy, get down", "Mazy, come here".  It was actually rather entertaining.  Kinley especially loves when Mazy tries to sit on her lap.  And if you're wondering, no, dogs can't play doll house, but our dog will lay by the doll house and act interested, so I guess that is close enough.

I think we all need a little time to adjust to our new addition, but here's to some new puppy love.

Self esteem boost

While taking my shower this morning, Kinley performed her usual routine of coming in and out of the bathroom several times and chucking toys in the bathroom.  As soon as I stepped out of the shower I heard a loud "oh, hi mama".  I said, "hi Kinley".  She then looked at me funny, wrinkled her nose, and said, "ew, cucka".  To which I promptly replied "you're cucka".  Very mature, I know.  Then I promptly informed her that I used to look better before her pregnancy ruined my body and gave me all of these lovely stretch marks.  I think I handled that well.

Like mother like daughter

She might look just like her daddy, but I think she picked something up from her mommy.  Where else did she learn to put things in such a straight line???

Of course, Kinley insisted on giving her "friends" a snack.  She wanted 1 vanilla wafer per "friend", but she had 20 friends out, so we settle on "fwee cuckoos".  And yes, the kitties are eating their cookies with their bums...or maybe this was Kinley's way of telling me they were done with their snacks.

So you think you can dance?

Kinley and I are both big fans of So You Think You Can Dance, and dancing in general. Kinley's favorite dance of the season was called "The Garden". She absolutely loves the song. She wants to watch the clip of the show over and over and listen to the song on repeat and dance her little heart out. Typically her dance has a lot of head banging in it, but this clip is more of her spinning than dancing. Make sure to catch the end, it's a crack up.

The Motherhood Code

In the last year or so, I have had a couple of people tell me that I should write a book.  Just an FYI, it won't happen due to lack of talent, time, motivation, and focus.  However, I started thinking about what my hypothetical book might be about and be titled.  My first thought, "Ramblings of a First Time Mom", but that's pretty much what this blog is, so that was out.  Then after my day yesterday, I knew exactly what it would be, "The Truth About Motherhood".

I'm willing to bet that every mom out there has had the following moment; you're home alone with your new baby that is around a week old, you're both covered in spit up, changed about 20 diapers (sometimes going through 2 or 3 in one changing), haven't showered, haven't slept in, well, you're too tired to even remember, you have no clue that food is supposed to be served warm, and then it hits you, what in the world have I got myself into??? (If this moment has never happened to you, you should quit reading, and immediately email me your secret to life) I think I've finally figured out how this happens that we all get caught off guard.  I believe it's a combination of 2 things.

First, I have no scientific data to back me up, but I think that babies emit a drug known as "unconditional love" that is simply intoxicating and highly addictive.  I mean really, why else would we change a gazillion incredibly smelly diapers, let another human being cover us in bodily fluids, give up your social life, money, sleep and decent meals?  I mean, look at society, what people are willing to make such drastic life changes?  I believe they are called "drug addicts".  Oh, you're smiling because you know I'm on to something.  You probably got your first taste of the drug from simply holding a niece/nephew or a friends baby, and admit it, you were hooked.  And why wouldn't you be?  They are so small and precious, and they look so sweet and innocent.  You're completely blind to the mischief they have in store.  Darn you, you irresistible little things.

This leads me to my second point, we'll call it the "Motherhood Code of Silence".  Did any other mom ever sit you down and say, hey, this is what is what my life is actually like?  Yeah, like 5 minutes after I told them I was having a baby.   How convenient is that?  Here you are with your one way ticket to motherhood and 2 minutes after the plane takes off, somebody tells you your flight is going to have some serious turbulence.   I guess we can't blame the mothers out there, it really is kind of difficult to convey exactly the experience that is Motherhood, though I do my best to give a good warning.

So why do I bring this up today?  Well, after Kinley decided to trade her 3 hour nap time for 5 hours of whining, crying, coloring all over the table, and throwing object after object at my head, I found myself in yet another, "what have I got myself into" moment.  I actually heard myself tell Rich, "I don't think I'm cut out for this stay at home mom lifestyle".  Too bad I have the only job in the world that you can't quit.  I think that Kinley must have heard this because boy did she start dealing out the "unconditional love" drug.  While putting her to bed, I said, , sorry we had a rough day today, she followed with "I sowwy", thus softening my resistence.  Then on to I love you Kinley, she responded with a "wuv wu" (puff 1 off of the unconditional love pipe).  Then, she wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a great big squeezer (puff 2).  I lay her down in her crib and she yells, "night night mama", make that puff 3 and I'm high as a kite on motherhood again.  Isn't being a mother great?

Not catching on

Well here it is, Day 3, and we are officially throwing in the towel.  Kinley has no interest in potty training today, and that's okay, she'll do it when she is ready. Based on the above pictures, I'm guessing she's still confused about this whole potty thing, can't even get her underwear on right.  She has told me repeatedly today "not big" and "no potty", meaning, she does not want to be a big girl and she will not be using the potty today.  However, all of her "friends" had to use the potty prior to pretend nap time, and boy did they get a rousing ovation from Kinley for their success.  So instead of going to the bathroom every 20 minutes, we filled our time by tracing our hands and feet, and then Kinley wanted to trace her bum and mine...too bad my bum is just a smidge too big for that piece of paper.

Potty Training Day 2

My first thought - What in the world have I got myself in to???

This is how the day started:

7:50 - Kinley wakes up

8:00 - Kinley changed from diaper into her "big girl undies" and begins breakfast (no liquids involved)

8:15 - First accident

8:20 - Get first accident cleaned up

8:25 - Second accident, even bigger than first

8:30 - Second accident cleaned up

8:31 - Time turns into a blur of peeing and cleaning up 

9:00 - Kinley makes accident number 5 and we have no clean underwear for Kinley

So I ask, is it even possible to have 5 accidents in an hour?  Honestly, who can pee that much?  So as we sat with 10 pairs of pee soaked underwear in the wash, I started to notice how frustrated Kinley was.  She wouldn't even look at the potty.  I decided that we would just take the day off and try again tomorrow, or maybe in a week or so.  Despite all of the articles and books I read, I'm thinking that my 2 year old isn't quite ready, and to my surprise, I think she's even more frustrated with the process than I am.

So, before we give up all hope, I'll leave with a question.  How many accidents should one expect in a day while potty training?

 

Potty Training Day 1

Today was the big day.  We have talked it up for weeks.  We purchased the big girl underwear, the potty chair, the M&M's and stickers for bribery.  Apparently what I forgot to stock up on, and still don't believe they sell at the store, an abundance of patience.  

At the end of the day, here's what we have:  5 accidents, lots of dirty laundry, a potty chair that has been sat on every 20 minutes but some how did not get a drop of urine in it, a child that immediately yells "wet" after urinating on herself, and 2 frazzled parents that are now wondering what's so wrong with diapers.

So with 5 accidents and a pile of laundry under our belt, we're praying Day 2 works out a little better.  We're flustered, frazzled, and maybe a bit smelly, but we're not discouraged (yet). Maybe tomorrow we might actually get a drop of pee in the potty chair.  After all, that is what we're shooting for, right?  I think that potty training may be the death of this "first time mommy".

Lucky Number 7

While in high school and college, several of my friends would joke that I changed boyfriends more often than they changed underwear. In college, thanks to a good friend/neighbor, I was diagnosed with the "high and dry syndrome". I'm sure you are unfamiliar with this. Basically, it means you date a boy/girl until they are really interested in you and then you "Seinfeld" them and find silly reasons that you are no longer interested (wear too many vests, always show up at the library when you're studying, etc.) and then leave them "high and dry". I actually dispute ever having this syndrome, but I'm sure there will be some comments to the contrary.

During my sophomore year of college, I was talked into taking Interdisciplinary Physical Science from the world's most boring teacher. The class was once a week for 3 hours. I sat right behind this boy with the most bleached out hair I had ever seen, but he was still pretty cute. Lucky for me he was very outgoing and would shout out the most ridiculous answers for the class to laugh at (such as comparing sediment to Jell-o). This allowed us to introduce ourselves and he decided he needed somebody to study with because his first test didn't go over so well. After the first time he came over to study, I was telling my roommate that I thought he was cute and I had a bit of a crush on him. She replied, well, he is cute and very funny, but I give him 1 week and you'll be through with him.

Well, for everybody's info, this white haired boy and I have now been married for 7 years. Yep, that's right, I am now old enough to have been married for 7 years. I've heard several times that Rich and I are "quite a couple". I'm assuming this means that he and I are quite opposite and I'm also assuming that people find it odd that we ended up together. It's true, we are very different. Rich is content to pile his clothes up on the hamper while I try my hardest to ensure that mine are organized into groups, short sleeves, long sleeves, button up, dressy shirts, and of course by color. Rich is a law and history kind of guy while I tend to be a science geek. Basically, we're Darma and Greg (me being Greg of course).

On more than one occasion we've said that things would be a lot easier if we were more similar, but really, what fun would that be. I think that Heavenly Father knew exactly what we both needed. Rich needed somebody to help "clean" him up (and also drag him through that last semester of law school) and I needed somebody teach me to be a bit more laid back. All in all, I think we compliment each other very well. Our offspring on the hand may not stand a fighting chance at turning out "normal", but we think she's pretty cute.

So on this day I am very grateful for a Heavenly Father that knows what is best for me and what I need; a wonderful husband that I get to put up with and who puts up with me; and wonderful family and friends to share our lives with.

Happy Anniversary Rich...

It's my party...

As of yesterday, we are officially in the "Terrible Two's Club".  I'm not really sure I want to be in this club, judging from the name it doesn't sound like it's going to be a blast.  According to Kinley, the theme song is, "It's my party...and I'm the boss, so do what I say."  Catchy tune.

To get ready for Kinley's big birthday, she got her first hair cut.  She actually did very well and just got a little bit of a trim.

Then while I was painting my toe nails, she grabbed a cotton ball and scrubbed her toes to get them ready to be painted.  She insisted on having purple toes and pink nails, and she can't keep her shoes on because she has to show everybody what color her toes are.  This includes every shopper and checker at Walmart.

   
I still can't believe that I have a 2 year old.  Where did the time go?  We certainly have a very spirited, active, and hilarious little toddler at our house.  She was nice enough to say "tanks" to the majority of people that wished her a happy birthday yesterday.  So, happy birthday sweetie! And if at all possible, please quit growing up so fast, but feel free to continue learning to speak better.