The Motherhood Code

In the last year or so, I have had a couple of people tell me that I should write a book.  Just an FYI, it won't happen due to lack of talent, time, motivation, and focus.  However, I started thinking about what my hypothetical book might be about and be titled.  My first thought, "Ramblings of a First Time Mom", but that's pretty much what this blog is, so that was out.  Then after my day yesterday, I knew exactly what it would be, "The Truth About Motherhood".

I'm willing to bet that every mom out there has had the following moment; you're home alone with your new baby that is around a week old, you're both covered in spit up, changed about 20 diapers (sometimes going through 2 or 3 in one changing), haven't showered, haven't slept in, well, you're too tired to even remember, you have no clue that food is supposed to be served warm, and then it hits you, what in the world have I got myself into??? (If this moment has never happened to you, you should quit reading, and immediately email me your secret to life) I think I've finally figured out how this happens that we all get caught off guard.  I believe it's a combination of 2 things.

First, I have no scientific data to back me up, but I think that babies emit a drug known as "unconditional love" that is simply intoxicating and highly addictive.  I mean really, why else would we change a gazillion incredibly smelly diapers, let another human being cover us in bodily fluids, give up your social life, money, sleep and decent meals?  I mean, look at society, what people are willing to make such drastic life changes?  I believe they are called "drug addicts".  Oh, you're smiling because you know I'm on to something.  You probably got your first taste of the drug from simply holding a niece/nephew or a friends baby, and admit it, you were hooked.  And why wouldn't you be?  They are so small and precious, and they look so sweet and innocent.  You're completely blind to the mischief they have in store.  Darn you, you irresistible little things.

This leads me to my second point, we'll call it the "Motherhood Code of Silence".  Did any other mom ever sit you down and say, hey, this is what is what my life is actually like?  Yeah, like 5 minutes after I told them I was having a baby.   How convenient is that?  Here you are with your one way ticket to motherhood and 2 minutes after the plane takes off, somebody tells you your flight is going to have some serious turbulence.   I guess we can't blame the mothers out there, it really is kind of difficult to convey exactly the experience that is Motherhood, though I do my best to give a good warning.

So why do I bring this up today?  Well, after Kinley decided to trade her 3 hour nap time for 5 hours of whining, crying, coloring all over the table, and throwing object after object at my head, I found myself in yet another, "what have I got myself into" moment.  I actually heard myself tell Rich, "I don't think I'm cut out for this stay at home mom lifestyle".  Too bad I have the only job in the world that you can't quit.  I think that Kinley must have heard this because boy did she start dealing out the "unconditional love" drug.  While putting her to bed, I said, , sorry we had a rough day today, she followed with "I sowwy", thus softening my resistence.  Then on to I love you Kinley, she responded with a "wuv wu" (puff 1 off of the unconditional love pipe).  Then, she wraps her arms around my neck and gives me a great big squeezer (puff 2).  I lay her down in her crib and she yells, "night night mama", make that puff 3 and I'm high as a kite on motherhood again.  Isn't being a mother great?