Parenting 101

I realized this week that we have quite a few friends that are expecting babies, some very soon, others have a little while, some having their first, and others adding a little brother or sister. It doesn't seem like it was all that long ago that we were waiting for Kinley to join our family and filled with anxiety and concern about how to care for a baby. Since I watch Kinley spend a large portion of her day parenting her many babies and animals, I thought I might share some of her tips.

The task you will probably perform most often is of course the diaper change. I decided to let Kinley have a diaper for her baby one day and was rather impressed with how well she put it on the baby. Now, according to Kinley's parenting style, it really doesn't matter which way the diaper goes, she thinks it is easiest to just wrap it around the baby's waist as shown below. This is of course a very quick way to apply the diaper, however, a warning, this will do nothing to catch the mess.
One of my favorite things was to get Kinley all swaddled up in a blankie and sit and hold her. Swaddling is quite a fine art and takes some practice. Of course you start by spreading the blanket out on the floor, couch, or bed. Kinley can do this quite well. She actually likes to use at least 2 blankets, but prefers 3. Her swaddling leaves a lot to be desired and quite frankly I think if her babies were real, they would have suffocated a long time ago. She usually just puts 2 blankets under them and one smashed on their face.
Something important you should remember, babies are kind of fragile. According to Kinley, you can just manhandle them and when you need one of their blankies it is perfectly acceptable to just rip it out from under them. Another warning, doing this makes your baby flop all over, I do not recommend this technique. You will notice in this picture Kinley is trying to take care of 2 "babies" so she probably just got flustered. I mean, look, she had to stop mid diaper change to rip the blanket out from under her other baby...that's tough to manage.
And everybody's favorite, babies need to be rocked. Again, Kinley is demonstrating some poor technique. Your newborn will need some sort of support for its head, we do not recommend that you just flail it over your shoulder and spin in very fast circles with it. If you look in the background, poor little Mickey Mouse is being suffocated with a blanket and merely has his little feet sticking out. Is there a "Doll Protective Services", if so, please don't rat Kinley out, she'll be devastated if they take her children away.
And the last thing parents need are good babysitters. Here is a picture of Kinley having Rich babysit Mickey and Raffey...apparently he fell asleep on the job. He came home for lunch, took a rest on the couch, was bombarded with animals and blankets to babysit, and I guess it just wore him right out. Kinley must have thought her babies looked like they were having fun snuggling with daddy so she joined in.
We are very excited for all of our friends and their growing families and we can't wait to see your new arrivals. And, if you need a babysitter, Kinley is available and up for the task.

I think I might be disgusting...

In order to make my point, I will have to flashback to 2002.  I was working at the Red Cross as a phlebotomist (insert all your vampire jokes here) and traveling the state of Utah doing the blood mobiles.  I like to consider myself a normal and rational person that had reasonable reactions to situations.  On this particular day, we had a very young donor, barely 18, weighed 110 pounds with weights in her pockets, and extremely nervous.  Now, for all of you that do not give blood, I understand it seems scary, but I assure you, if you have eaten, drink plenty of fluids, and try and relax, it really isn't all that bad.  And you should never lie about your weight such as this donor did.  Well, since she was acting like a complete freak and didn't weigh enough to donate (she later admitted that part) she became rather light headed.  She was at the station next to mine and I remember thinking just how glad I was that she was not my donor.  I had a reputation of not liking the extremely needy donors, having a perfectly maintained station, and not doing well with any bodily fluids.  She was in perfectly capable hands though, she had one of my favorite co-workers, and one of the few I would allow to draw my blood.  

Well, said co-worker asked for my assistance in trying to get her donor under control.  I was talking to her, got her an ice pack, and we were trying to calm her down.  Things quickly turned from bad to worse when it became obvious she was going to vomit, scratch that, projectile vomit.  She said, "I feel sick to my stomach" and I just knew what was coming next.  I did what I thought was a "reasonable" reaction and tried to dart out of the way.  However, I inadvertently grabbed my co-worker and used her as a shield.  I assure you, this was an accident, but still, like I was going to stand there and let her vomit on me, see, reasonable reaction.  It's worth mentioning that the majority of the vomit went on the donor and mere splashes hit my co-worker who simply changed her lab coat and was rid of the "sick" as she called it.  Yep, the donor actually said she was sorry she got her sick on her lab coat.

Now, flash forward to 18 months into motherhood.  Kinley has been battling a cold for a few days and some how managed to get the "sicks" yesterday.  She threw up twice.  The first time was no big deal, on the tile, wiped up no problem.  The second, we had been playing catch with her favorite pink soccer ball when she bent over, puked down the front of her and on the tile, bounced her ball in it, then barfed all over the ball.  Now, some how I was not completely repulsed as a normal person would be.  I of course ran to her, got her shirt off, washed the vomit off her hands, and set to cleaning up the mess.  Now, good old Marlyce would have chucked that soccer ball in the trash immediately, but the new and disgusting Marlyce, knowing how much my daughter loves it, gave it a good wash and ended up playing catch with it later, however, it does have a hint of vomit smell.  The sad part, I wasn't really all that grossed out.  What happened to me?  Has motherhood made me disgusting?  One of "those people"?  I should also mention that in a moment of urgent need and no tissue close by, I used my finger to wipe the snot from Kinley's face and wiped it on my pants.  Not to mention, I asked her for a kiss yesterday, not noticing that her upper lip was covered in snot, and I got a snot kiss.  Oh dear, is there a cure for this?

So I leave this question, has motherhood made me a disgusting animal?  I actually think that love has just blinded my eyes to these disgusting situations.  And, in my defense, I was the first one to let her know how bad her breath smelled after she puked, and thank heavens she likes to brush her teeth cause it took some good scrubbing to get that stank off.

Long time, no update

I realize it has been quite some time since I have updated our blog.  So I thought to myself, what have I been doing all this time.  Well, let me fill you in.  I have a child that I am convinced is running for "World's Busiest Toddler" and I am really thinking she has a good shot at taking the title.  So here is just a little glimpse of what she will be using in the talent portion of her competition.

Kinley will be displaying her incredible oral hygiene.  She will be in the middle of playing or reading a book and have the urge to brush her teeth and immediately run to one of us and grab our finger and drag us upstairs to the bathroom.  I think she would brush her teeth all day if I would let her.  I am trying to set of limit of 3 times a day, I am thinking it might not be good to brush your teeth 20 times a day, maybe some of you dental experts out there can help me out with that one.

New to Kinley is the talent to actually sit and watch something on the t.v. for about 15 minutes on a good day.  Typically we do Baby Einstein and, my personal favorite, the Backyardigans (don't they sing the catchiest tunes???).  However, last week she caught her very first episode of AFV (that is America's Funniest Videos to those of you that aren't as geeky as we are) and absolutely loved it.  She loves that every other episode has a dog or a kitty and she even laughs when the people fall down...could be because her parents are laughing so hard.  She loved it so much, she just laid down next to her daddy and enjoyed the entire episode.  This may not win her any points in the competition, but I enjoyed the down time.

Kinley is currently struggling with having more liquid come out of her body than her diaper can handle.  I don't know what the problem is, we have tried several different brands of diapers and they all have the same problem, only 2 brands give her a horrible diaper rash.  So, she keeps me busy by changing her sheets way too often.  This however has led her to discovering just how much fun it is to jump on the mattress when it's out of the crib.  I know, you probably are all thinking, "why do you take the mattress out?"  Well, simple, it seems by far the easiest way for little short me to change the sheet.  Now, unfortunately, she constantly wants the mattress out so she can jump on it and when she doesn't get her way she throws a gigantic tantrum, and boy can she throw a tantrum.

Now, this one might contribute to our diaper situation.  Little Kinley is very, very thirsty.  She is always wanting a drink, and some times it can be a bit tricky to figure out what she is in the mood for, juice or water, and if it's juice, what kind of juice.  However, she has taken quite a liking her daddy's favorite, fruit punch Gatorade.  Thank heavens she brushes her teeth so often so that the sugar isn't rotting her teeth, I hope anyway.  So by way of being busy, it ends up being a decent amount of sippy cups to wash and a couple extra diapers to change each day, but at least she's hydrated.  I love when she drinks from dad's Gatorade because it's impossible for her to drink without smashing her nose.  I thought it was funny.

But no matter how busy we are, we always have time for a cookie break.  Funny story, Kinley has started saying diaper, pronounced "bi-per".  This particular day I had made some cookies and asked her if she would like a cookie.  She responded with her high pitched "bi-per?".  I of course said, no, we don't eat diapers, but this cookie will eventually end up in yours.  Pretty clever on my part :)

Kinley is also very excited that she now gets to go to nursery during church, not nearly as excited as her parents are though.  She absolutely loves it and enjoys spending time with all of the other little kids, especially bubble time.  She doesn't even seem to mind when we leave her, kind of makes me feel bad, but then again, I get to enjoy the rest of church without chasing her around.  Well, this is just a glimpse at how we are spending our time.  I am actually happy that Kinley is so energetic and so full or personality, she's happy, healthy, and makes us laugh all the time.  

Being a mom is tough business

Since Christmas, Kinley has learned how difficult it is to care for another person, or in her case, a doll. Grandma Friess gave Kinley an adorable little baby doll for Christmas, and baby doll has become one of the family. Kinley spends a good portion of her day playing with and caring for her new doll. However, she also has to care for Elmo and her stuffed giraffe "Raffey". I'm sure you can understand and relate to her burden, it's quite a job taking care of all of these "children". So, I thought I would give you a quick peak at Kinley's day.

Well obviously, children need to eat, so Kinley typically is kind enough to share her meals and snacks with her babies. Of course by sharing I mean she smashes food into the poor little creatures mouths. I'm hoping that nobody will notice that Elmo's mouth is stained from the chocolate chip cookie he enjoyed the other day. It probably wasn't helping the situation that as she was stuffing the cookie in his mouth I was saying in my best Cookie Monster voice, "me want cookies". Oh well, his mouth is black felt, he'll get over it.

Kinley is determined to have her kids be well rounded. They join us for story time, watch the Backyardigans with us, and of course, they need to have some music lessons. Poor little baby doll is having to learn how to play the piano with her forehead, she's actually getting pretty good. We're so glad that Santa brought our music table so that after music class the kiddies have some place to take their naps.

Nap time is quite problematic, mostly because she usually only has one blanket downstairs and at least 2 people in need of a blanket. Yesterday, this led to quite a nasty disagreement. Unfortunately I don't speak Kinley, so I can't be sure what happened. I can only speculate that there was some sort of an altercation over where everybody was supposed to take their pretend naps. I saw Kinley pointing her finger at Raffey and next thing I knew he was banished to the corner. Luckily, tempers cooled and everybody was allowed to enjoy a nice, leisurely car ride. Of course, by leisurely, I mean stuffed and crammed in the car, had their heads run over, and for a portion of the ride baby doll's head was found underneath Kinley's bottom, poor thing.

I love to watch Kinley and her little imagination grow and think her interactions are so adorable. However, I am really hoping that the Department of Children and Family Services are not watching her drag her doll by its pig tails, sit on their heads, and force them to eat, I'm sure they wouldn't be pleased. At least she takes a minute to snuggle with her baby and her daddy, that must make up for some of that bad pretend parenting.