Finally...

After 387 viewings (okay, more like 25), we have finally found Nemo, that is to say, we finally saw the end of the movie. Typically we watch about half of the movie and then Kinley gets bored and is off to wreak havoc somewhere else. Well today my friends, she got bored in the middle, but returned shortly to watch the end of the movie, it feels like a big day for us. So I thought I would share a few things we have learned from Nemo and the gang.

First, if you get mad at your parents and yell that you hate them, then swim into open water at put your fin on the "butt", you probably deserve to live in a tank for awhile and your parents will eventually rescue you.

Second, if your dentist puts his finger in the fish tank and wipes it on your lovely clip on "bib", and also uses something called the "shoulder technique", it is definitely time to find a new dentist.

Third, if Bruce the Shark and his buddies can quit eating fish, I can probably cut back on the amount of sugar I eat. I guess I just need to find a support group.

Fourth, fish tanks are disgusting and I will try with all my might to never own one.

And last, Elmo definitely prefers watching Nemo with Kinley than being run over repeatedly. I think there are few things I currently enjoy more than watching Kinley and her best friend, Elmo, sit and watch Nemo together. They sit so cute together on the couch or in her chair and she constantly adjusts Elmo to make sure he can see, or maybe it's to make sure he is paying attention. Then every few minutes she will turn to him, rattle something off in jibberish, and they get a good chuckle out of it.

Food choices

I'm not really one to eat "healthy". I love my Diet Coke and there are some days where I would consider selling Kinley for a nice brownie. I fondly remember my days at the Red Cross where my lovely co-worker Leslie and I would walk across the street to the gas station. I would purchase a 32 oz. Dr. Pepper (these were my pre-diet soda days) and a bag of chips, typically salt and vinegar, or lime and chile Fritos. This was my mid-morning snack, but usually ended up being my lunch as well, or rather, I'd skip lunch. I guess I shouldn't have been shocked when I ended up with an ulcer.

Apparently little Kinley inherited my eating habits. Each day when she wakes up, we come down stairs and I make what I want for breakfast, usually waffles or these delicious french toast sticks. Yesterday, I mixed it up and asked Kinley what she wanted, bad idea. She went to her food cabinet, looked around and declared "crackers" and grabbed the gold fish out. Well, they are kind of like cereal, so I decided it wasn't worth the fight, after all, I was the idiot that gave her a choice. Then she went to the fridge, pulled it open, and selected a lovely piece of string cheese and some juice and declared herself ready to eat. I thought to myself, well she does have the basic food groups for breakfast and let it slide. Today, without even asking what she wanted, she chose crackers, a Little Debbie brownie (ah, I'm so proud), cheese, and daddy's blue Powerade. We compromised and are having a mixture of gold fish, cheerios and juice. I on the other hand fought off the urge to eat the brownie and ate a bowl of cereal instead. I knew Kinley would inevitably start imitating us, I was just hoping and praying she hadn't noticed my sweet tooth.

The Supposi-Story

I guess I will be joining the ranks of parents that share embarrassing stories about their children.  Lucky for me, mine can't read yet, and I'm sure I can erase any record of this by the time she can.  Poor little Kinley came down with a case of the "no poops" this week, a.k.a., she's constipated.  Poor thing.  She will typically wander off by herself for a few minutes then casually return to the room followed by a nasty stench.  Today, she has mostly just quietly hung out by herself with her "poop face", but no luck.  I'm sure she will be fine, but it reminded me of a very funny first time parent story.

I'm sure many of you will remember this experience, but it's worth a repeat.  When Kinley was probably 2 months, maybe 3, she became extremely constipated.  It had been about a week since her last bowel movement and had started to seem uncomfortable.  The doctor recommended a suppository and said it should work quickly.  Rich was the lucky one to get to go to the story and make the big purchase.  I still remember both of us hovering over poor little Kinley and trying to figure out how to make this work.  We had to cut the suppository down, and then of course figure out how to get it to stay in her tiny bum.  We finally got it to stay and not even a minute later we heard the loudest "boom" ever, like somebody fired a shot gun by my head, loud enough that Rich and I both ducked our heads.  I wasn't quite sure what happened and clearly Rich wasn't either, so he pulled Kinley's diaper down a little to check her progress.

Right at that moment it looked as though Kinley's bum had turned into a drinking fountain and a perfect stream of very runny baby poop shot out.  It was really one of the funniest things I've ever seen.  Unfortunately for Rich, that poop had to hit somewhere, and wouldn't you know it landed right on his shorts (new shorts at that).  We were both laughing so hard we were crying.  Then the second wave hit, and more poop everywhere.  We could barely even function to get the mess cleaned up because we were laughing so hard. Did I mention the smell was absolutely awful?  I remember looking at Kinley and she just looked beyond relieved and so happy.  Aahh, the experiences of first time parents.  So if anybody is wondering, yes, I am a little hesitant to help Kinley with a suppository this time, we'll be trying several things before we resort to one of those.

Rescue 9-1-1

Emergency operator: 911, what's your emergency?
Elmo: Please help, my friends and I are being attacked.
Emergency operator: Okay, I'm sending help, can you tell me what happened?
Elmo: My friends and I were hanging out when this girl came and crammed us all in her car. She started taking us out one at a time and running us over with her car. Mary, you know, the one that had a little lamb, she has been hit several times. Please hurry, there is still a baby doll left in the car, I think she's okay.
Emergency operator: Is anybody seriously hurt?
Elmo: Luckily we are made of fabric and stuffed with cotton, so I think we're okay. The girl ran me and Mary over the most. She thinks it's funny because Mary sings and I laugh when she runs us over. My stomach hurts from laughing, but I think I'm okay. We're just trying to stay very still so she'll leave us alone.
Emergency operator: Can you describe what this girl looks like?
Elmo: Yes, she has blond hair, brown eyes, about 3 feet tall and she either runs or skips everywhere she goes. And that laugh...it will haunt me forever, it kind of sounds like an old man laughing.
Emergency operator: Help should be there soon.

The suspect was quickly apprehended and taken into custody (a.k.a. "nap time") and informed that it is not very nice to torture our friends, even if they are stuffed. She was also informed that being run over is no laughing matter.

Exhibit A:
This is Kinley apologizing to "Mary" and checking to make sure she is still okay.

Monsters Inc.

This is a picture of Kinley completely captivated by her new favorite thing, Monsters Inc.  Anything that can get your kid to sit so perfectly still for at least 30 minutes straight must be a good thing, right?  Well, I thought that for the first 2 days.  The first time we watched it, we had so much fun sitting on the couch and snuggling during the movie, eating popcorn, really, my dream come true.  Well, we're on day 6 of this new love and Kinley would like to watch Monsters about 4 times a day.  I'm trying to introduce some new movies, but it's not going over so well.  I'm pretty sure it's not healthy for her to watch this movie all day long, and certainly it is not healthy for me.  For now, we are focusing on one showing a day.  Wish us luck.

Daddy's bath night

This is what happens when it's Daddy's turn to give the bath.  I guess it's every parents' right to make their kid look ridiculous and take their picture.  Apparently the theme for bath night was "punk rock the tub".

The adventures of a 20 month old

Kinley recently had her 18 month well child check-up. Yes, I know, she is 20 months old, but due to our pediatrician's busy schedule, we were about 6 weeks late for the check-up. During the appointment the doctor asked me what kinds of things she does each day and does she do any imaginative play. I glanced down at Kinley and she was right in the middle of trying to put her shirt on, however, she was using it for pants. I smiled, looked at the doctor who was chuckling, and he said I guess she's currently doing some pretending. I said, you have no idea.

I spared him the details of exactly what she does each day, but you won't be so lucky. So, here is a list of Kinley's current favorites.

1. Getting in the fridge, mainly to get "cheeeeeeeese". Drives me crazy, but at nap time, she gets her blankies, opens the fridge, and brings me the milk. It's a nice hint that it's time for a nap.

2. Trying to change her own diaper - yes, potty training herself would be a lot easier, and no, we're not in the habit of putting her diaper on over top of her pants.3. The tote game - I recently put all of Kinley's "too small" clothes in a tote and left it in her room while I waited to finish the laundry and get the rest of the clothes put away. Well, the tote game was established. To play you need a mommy or daddy (or probably anybody) on one side and Kinley on the other. Then Kinley collects random pieces of paper and proceeds to give you some type of a lecture or lesson. This game can take a long time to finish, and I really have no idea what I've learned.

4. The Backyardigans - this is one of my favorites. My mother gave Kinley this cute Easter egg with Pablo and Uniqua from the Backyardigans inside. Now whenever we watch their show, Kinley will frantically find her friends and hold them up when the character appears on t.v. So very cute.

5. Fixing hair - I can only hope she will be much more talented than I am at this one. She has discovered all of the many things I have collected to put in her hair and now we have to play beauty shop. Daddy was nice enough to let her put a ton of clips in his hair, he looked so very pretty. I dread the days this game comes up and I have my curly hair...does not feel the greatest.
6. Coloring, coloring, and more coloring - This child insists on coloring until there is no white showing. She also loves for one of us to draw shapes on the paper so that she can completely obliterate them. She has actually learned her shapes from this, she can point to the shapes when you ask, or rather, she'll immediately start scribbling out the shape I say.
7. Hide and seek - this is my personal favorite. She hasn't quite figured out the hiding concept, she usually just covers her face, which of course makes her invisible. I typically hide behind the door or on the side of the bed, I still scare her pants off every time and she loves it. She will now yell "boo" when she comes out of her hiding place.
8. Dress up - she always wants to wear my jackets, vests, and one day, even my socks. She also loves Rich's hat, for some reason she always wears them backwards, but a little slanted. I fear she may have a little "gangstah" in her, we'll eliminate hip hop from our iTunes.
I'm realizing this is getting rather lengthy and I've barely skimmed the surface. I guess this gives you a tiny glimpse at our daily routine. Basically, I feel like I live with a foreign exchange student that knows about 20 English words but still talks non-stop and looks at me like I'm an idiot when I don't understand. I may not have any idea what she is saying, but boy is she hilarious.