Dear Kinley

After our recent trip to Sam's Club, I realized there are a few things we needed to discuss.  First of all, I would like to share some of my insights into motherhood with you.  I know that I am just a first time mom and still trying to figure this whole thing out, but here is a little of what I have come up with.  The majority of motherhood falls into about 3 main categories; sacrifice, compromise, and negotiation.  These 3 categories are under the larger and most important category of protection. Obviously it's not that simple but I think it gives us a good place to start.  I absolutely love being your mom but I think we just need to clarify a few things.

I have adjusted to the clutter that you leave around.  I am willing to share anything I eat with you, and for that matter, I am reluctantly willing to let you cram food in my mouth with your grubby little hands.  I am happy to come up with little compromises, if you do this for mommy we can go outside.  I am even willing to forego my delicious diet coke for a caffeine free diet soda to share with you since I know you will insist on having some (we certainly don't need Kinley on caffeine).   I am perfectly willing to do all I can to help you be happy, healthy, well mannered, and educated.

However, there is something that you will NEVER be allowed to do.  While at Sam's Club, or any public place, it is never going to be acceptable to lay on your stomach and roll around on the ground, and eat pieces of candy that somebody spilled by the register.  This is and will always be considered disgusting, yucky, or "cucka" as you say it.  Maybe this makes me a mean and horrible mom in your eyes, but I promise you, some day you will thank me for this.  I was rather shocked when none of my compromises (even the ice cream) sounded better than eating that nasty, linty, dirty candy.  I'm very sorry that you were so upset, but as always, I was just doing what I thought was best for you (and trust me on this one, it was definitely the best for you).

All my love,

Mom